Monday, 22 October 2012

Personal Primal Challenge - Day 5

Verdict - mostly a failure, but at least I got my work done.

I spent the morning trying to concentrate, managed to eat the pork/veggie leftovers for "lunch" at around 3ish (breakfast was a small glass of cranberry juice because I had zero appetite), and then proceeded to have part two of "Why did I think studying anything related to Japan was a good idea???" breakdown that started on Saturday.  Spent the next few hours giving myself an even worse headache that I probably should have just taken some migrane meds to kill.  As it was, I killed it with a few cans of Pepsi Throwback, which also determined that the funky feeling in my stomach was tummy-upset, not hunger.  Yes, caffeine is sometimes what it takes to kill my headaches, and it's not caffeine withdrawal - I had two glasses of iced tea before with my lunch.  That's why migraine meds are sometimes the only thing that works, even on non-migraines (yay for cheap over-the-counters!), but I really try to avoid taking anything if I can.  And I'd also taken Motrin and magnesium for, er, girl related stuff, so I didn't really want to take anything else.  Also, I was sad, stressed, and needed to focus.  Hence, I cheated very badly.

But I got my homework caught up, ish. I have a manageable amount left for tomorrow and Tuesday, but manageable is the operative word in that sentence, and stress is a big part of what I'm trying to manage this month.  Do the ends justify the means? I'm going to bed significantly less stressed (and by that I mean I'm not at all worried about being prepared for class for the next two days), albeit at close to 2 AM and with way more carbs from refined sugar than I should have in about a week.  At least it was sugar, not high fructose corn syrup.  That stuff makes me feel awful, and then I break out for the next week or so.

Emily made a very yummy stir fry for dinner with very tender (and free!) steak, but sadly, when I thought about ganking a piece of the steak off her plate, I almost puked.  I did manage to eat a small bowl about an hour ago, but brushing my teeth was an exercise in controlling my gag reflex (I know, entirely too much information in this post) and I kinda want to curl up in a ball and just pass out. Actually I want a cup of chamomile tea to help me sleep, but I don't think I could keep it down at this point.  I think it was the meltdown.  I'm not actually sick, I think my stress just got the best of me.

As for activity for today, really it was pacing around the apartment, taking Loki out for a couple short walks (and a sprint across the courtyard, just for kicks), and walking around Meijer (carrying a 12 pack of Pepsi...).  But speaking of Loki, he has a new jacket for winter.


Now I just need to rig it so he can wear it outside.  He's way too big for doggie-smalls, but the mediums are too big on him and the tummy strap is right in the line of pee, so it comes off when we go out... which won't work for winter.  The poor little guy shivers the entire time he's outside, and it was pretty warm out today.

So, things I learned from today:
- Running around like a crazy person with the doggie is a good way to spend a study break.
- Call mom before giving in to meltdowns - there is no time difference anymore!! (one good thing about being in North America)
- Don't force self to eat when stomach is upset... it's just not worth it (habit I got into when my gallbladder wouldn't let me eat anything during high school/early college)

Whether or not indulging in what I know will work in order to focus on what I need to do, and thus finishing what I need to do, is worth the compromise (lowered stress: high dose of sugar) is something the jury is still out on. (Shush, I know the grammar was bad there!)  Personally, I'm just relieved to be mostly done with my homework, so I'm not going to stress out about the carbs/calories I drank.  I certainly went over my target carb count (again), but I also was most likely still way under my target calorie count.

And on that note, I'm off to try and get a decent night's rest (this time, please no dreams of wandering around Kyoto...) so I can start off tomorrow on a better footing.  Lots to do, but I can manage it, and that's a big improvement!

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