Thursday, 29 January 2009

Serenity

No not the movie, though it is an awsome movie.

I need it. My Nana had a fake book thing in her house. It was on a table near the doorway. I used to like to look at it. I liked what it had on it, and it looked neat. That was the first place I saw the Serenity Prayer, and I didn~t really understand what serenity meant. Then I learned however much later. I have an angel in my closet with it on there now. And there have been times I prayed it almost like a mantra. I always thought I needed more courage.

This is how it goes if you don~t know it:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


I might have written about it before, I don~t remember. This has been another month where I find myself praying that several times a day, cause I just need it. I~m finding I understand why it~s the Serenity Prayer and not the Courage Prayer. I~ll take a leap just about wherever and hope I land somewhere that doesn~t destroy me. And if I do, I~ll deal with it and survive. Changing things is the easy part in there - if any of it can be considered easy. It~s the wisdom and serenity part I have trouble with. Wisdom is a given with me. I pray for it, but I know there~s not much there. Lack of serenity is probably why I end up beating myself up about stupid things and can be discontent when by all rights I should be enjoying my life and dealing with the curveballs without falling on my face.


Anyway, that~s my prayer again this morning - the serenity part in particular. That and an added `help me lower my pride a notch cause I~m on a fast road to hurting myself.`

My medicine is making me feel weird. It~s like I~m buzzed on caffeen and haven~t slept in a week. Being as sick as I am is making this extra hard to deal with. And the guy next to me is about to get my elbow in his ribs. *sigh*

Any tips on how to make a cat open his mouth. I know on a dog, but that doesn~t seem to work and I have to give Soushi anti-biotics. Oh and apparently neutered cats can still mate. Ew and huh? First chance I get....meaning as soon as I save the money...Ophelia~s getting bits removed, cause that is not something I want to wake up to. Ew.


I~m hoping today turns out better than yesterday though, cause yesterday sucked.

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