So, I was supposed to meet cats today, and then the lady decided that because I'm not Japanese I wasn't a good choice for the cats.... She then proceeded to tell me that she would help me find an older cat so that I didn't have to worry about it living for so long. I was not happy with her. Especially since people in this country for the most part treat animals like prada bags, and vets refuse to help injured strays, and there are no real shelters. They kill animals caught within 3 days. I'm sorry, I will proudly say I am American and we treat our animals like part of the family. We don't "throw them away" when they get older or we get bored with them. The word for "stray" here is "thrown away."
Anyway, I was really upset, and now I'm nervous about getting what I want, so I'm stuck. I supposed to go see kitties tomorrow, but they're not really "what I want." They're more, "what I can get without a hassle or risk of getting nothing." And I'm wondering if that's a bad plan. The one I really want I can go see next week. One I also want is coming to visit Monday. I wish I wasn't so scared of the same thing happening again as with what happened with the other kitty. And I've realised I now really want two. Well, I sorta wanted two before, but now I REALLY want two. Probably because I was told I couldn't have one.
And now I'm just frustrated. I know I shouldn't go tomorrow if it's not what I really want. I'm pretty sure the woman coming on Monday will be leaving her cat with me. She sounds pretty desperate to give him away because she's pregnant and due in 2 months. She initially wanted me to go see her, but then she changed her mind and said she'd come see me so please meet her cat. And I partly was planning on getting the little black kitten's sister (the one they told me I couldn't have) and keeping her for Lindsey. And that's what I kinda want to do with the kitties tomorrow, but guh. I'm frustrated. I wish my apartment was a little bigger. As it is if I clean it there's enough room. People live in smaller with more animals.
I don't know. I need to actually talk this out with somebody, cause it really bothers me. Partly probably because I got so upset the other day - I screamed and sobbed for a good 2 hours..... My head was all funny. Now I know it's gonna bug me unless I get what I want. It's childish of me, but it's really bothering me. And I really don't know what to do. I should just cancel the meeting tomorrow, but I'd feel a little guilty.... don't really know why. Gah! Ok, I'm gonna call somebody and bug them about this so I can actually TALK to someone instead of write it.