but i woke up not feeling anything. and then i had to argue myself off the train at my station. and now i~m back to crying in the bathroom again.
this is stupid. i know why i~m crying but it shouldn~t be so hard to stop and just do my job. it shouldn~t be so hard to just be okay. i~m never just okay. i~m either so happy or crying. i~m either bouncing off the walls or trying to crawl back into bed.
i keep hearing someones comment last time lindsey left that i look like i lost my best friend. i nearly cried when that was said and mom had to answer for me. everytime i hear that in my head i start crying again. i wonder if i look that bad today. i should put makeup on but it~ll just smudge.
i need to go eat while i have the time. i need to pull myself together before my adult classes start.