Wednesday, 30 July 2008


i was doing so good. i had the best weekend since i got here. it was amazing and i really thought i would wake up and be able to keep moving forward.

but i woke up not feeling anything. and then i had to argue myself off the train at my station. and now i~m back to crying in the bathroom again.

this is stupid. i know why i~m crying but it shouldn~t be so hard to stop and just do my job. it shouldn~t be so hard to just be okay. i~m never just okay. i~m either so happy or crying. i~m either bouncing off the walls or trying to crawl back into bed.

i keep hearing someones comment last time lindsey left that i look like i lost my best friend. i nearly cried when that was said and mom had to answer for me. everytime i hear that in my head i start crying again. i wonder if i look that bad today. i should put makeup on but it~ll just smudge.

i need to go eat while i have the time. i need to pull myself together before my adult classes start.

Saturday, 26 July 2008

Update on me

I'm doing okay. ^_^

There was another earthquake in Iwate, 6.8 I guess. It lasted forever. It was creepy, but no damage. Just a little nausea.

I'm excited to see Lindsey this weekend. And Tom's going to be here too, so I'll be meeting him for dinner tomorrow ^_^ I'm excited about that.

And I took Tuesday off, so I get a three day weekend. And in a few weeks I'm giving myself a small vacation - mental health holdiay ^^ It will be relaxing and I really have no idea what I'm gonna do. Probably just hang around Tokyo and my apartment and do nothing. Again, the relaxing bit :P

For now, I should probably clean my apartment. I haven't done anything productive for over a week now, and it's kinda showing.......

Friday, 18 July 2008

So last night

I took a walk cause I~m in the middle of a three day hyper phase ~now on day four~ and sleep at some point would be appreciated. So it~s really stinking hot here and I~ve been getting a little dehydrated so I stopped at 7~11 and wanted to get a slurpys here. Somebody should introduce them. They~d sell like mad in this weather. Anyway I ended up getting a chocolate one cause the only juice one was watermelon with chocolate chunks and that just didn~t sound appetizing. Anyway my tasty dark chocolate popcicle melted before I got home while eating it so now there are chocolate drips outside my door. The thing is it~s about 5 minutes to walk from 7~11 ( ̄▽ ̄;)

I also learned that British pain killers stop egg alergy reactions. Seriously...hamburger stays together just fine by itsself. Who puts egg in it!?

The girl across from me is reading one of the comics I like. It would seem there~s a new volume out...

Thursday, 3 July 2008

No News on the Job Front

I worked up the courage to actually CALL Sagan Speak, instead of e-mail because the recruiter didn't respond to my email I sent a few days ago. So, the update is that there is no update. The Japanese liason with the school was off for a week, but still there was no contact FROM the school, so off or not there wouldn't be any news. He's calling the school today to bug them, and if there's not a positive response by tomorrow then we're looking at other alternatives.

A performing arts school would have been awsome simply for the collegues. The downfall is that even though I could live in the same area, it's 40 minutes in the opposite direction from Tokyo, so unless I made friends with said colleagues (who are probably way older than me) I still will be isolated during the work week. The other opportunities are in Tokyo and Yokohama.

Pray for me. I've been finding some peace in God. Work has also been a lot less horrid now that Mayuka is gone and Junko is so sweet and actually cares about the foreign teachers and how they are surviving here. I think if she'd be the manager when I first came, I wouldn't be in such a bad place.

Tomorrow I go to Tokyo for training - which is apparently exactly like the training we had in Vancouver which was all about how to make the school money. Nothing to do with teaching. Joy of joys. We're supposed to wear skirts. My skirt falls off my butt, and I have a bit of a beef with a company that says I have to wear a skirt cause I'm female. And it's July 4th, so I'm going to be an obnoxious American and wear a pants suit (and my knee high boots! but those don't show).